Chardon High School: One Year Later

       Tomorrow, February 27, 2013, marks the one year anniversary of the day the world stood still for students, teachers, parents and the entire community of Chardon Ohio.  Although a full year has gone by since Demetrius, Danny, and Russell were taken from their families and friends we mourn the loss as if only days have passed.
        For many, the tears that took ages to dry will break free once again to carry the pain and memories from our scarred souls.  Much like last year though, citizens throughout Chardon have selflessly offered shoulders to cry on and ears to vent to.  Instead of following the regular school day schedule, CHS found a way to turn a rough situation into a reason to give back to all of those who have kept us sane throughout the past year.  Students are encouraged to participate in service projects set up in the school which include making blankets for Project Linus, making collars for the ever adorable therapy dogs, and other projects that allow students to be with their friends while also returning the countless favors done for us in the past.  The day will conclude after the student body, including the alumni of 2012, works its way to the Chardon square as the single, enduring unit it was when it returned to the school last year after the days of mourning.
       Personally, I hope to replace thoughts of sadness and loss with the memories of love and support.  I remember spending that monday night one year ago within an ocean of wet eyes and swollen hearts as we stood together at the square and gave thanks for everything and anything.  I knew nothing of the delayed feelings waiting to burst out of me at the time but none the less I had an entire town there to catch me if I stumbled.  After the vigil that night I spent time with my friends whom I had never been so happy to be with.  These are the kind of things that I would love to see remembered today. Embrace not what pulls you down, but instead the hands that reach out and pull you back up.
       I speak now to the students who huddled together in terror as all of this took place.  Don't be scared.  Don't be scared of how you feel or how others may be feeling.  We have all been through an incredibly traumatizing event and whether you believe it or not, everyone is prepared to be understanding and caring.  Let out the words and tears and most of all, the love because everyone could use a little.  Never take for granted those who are here with you today to help you through hardships and stress because we know all too well that they could be gone any minute.  Most of all, be happy.  That may seem like a strange thing to say but Danny, D, and Russell would have wanted to be celebrated.  Celebrated with happiness and togetherness.  I hope the best to everyone, we can all get through this together.

Music to download

      Alright so this will not be some deep, opinionated post on a general topic like I've been known to do in the past. I've mentioned before that I love music and I'm often told that I have a pretty good taste music. Not only do I love listening to music but I thoroughly enjoy sharing it with people. I thought some people might enjoy it if I recommended some of my favorite tunes as of recently. Here's a list for all you music junkies.

Albums:
Mumford & Sons - Babel
The Neighbourhood - Im Sorry...  (EP)
Macklemore & Ryan Lewis - The Heist
Jack White - Blunderbuss
G-Eazy - Must Be Nice (Mix Tape)
The Kings Dead - Jerusalem (Mix Tape)
D-WHY - Don't Flatter Yourself (Mix Tape)
Childish Gambino - ROYALTY (Mix Tape)
Cam Meekins - :) :/ :( (Mix Tape)
Asher Roth - Pabst & Jazz (Mix Tape)

Songs:
The Arcade Fire - No cars go
Peter, Bjorn and John - Young Folks
Phoenix - 1901
Coldplay - Paradise
Coldplay - Charlie Brown
Imagine Dragons - It's Time
Imagine dragons - On top of the world
Imagine Dragons - Radioactive
GROUPLOVE - Tongue Tied
GROUPLOVE - Colours
GROUPLOVE - Naked Kids
The Darkness - I believe in a thing called love
The Black Keys - Howlin' for you
The Black Keys - Lonely Boy
The Black Keys - Next Girl
AWOLNATION - Sail
Foster the people - Houdini
The Lumineers - Ho Hey
Macklemore - Fallin
Macklemore - Inhale Deep
Macklemore - B-Boy
SOL - 2020
Sandpeople - Letterhead remix feat. Macklemore
Grieves - Bloody Poetry
Intuition - Otis Redding
Intuition - Buzzkill feat. Slug of Atmosphere
Aesop Rock - Daylight
Kid Cudi - Just What I Am feat. King Chip
Asher Roth - Wrestling is fake
Cris Cab - Pumped up kicks cover
People Under The Stairs - Acid Raindrops
The Two Brothers - One blind whistle blower

I know its a pretty extensive list but I hope that there's something in there for everyone.  Enjoy the music.

Oh and by the way here's a few artists that I like that aren't listed.
Logic
XV
Hopsin
OnCue
Chris Webby
OCD: Moosh & Twist
Electric Guest
The Kooks
The Naked and Famous

Religion

       Ahhh this oughtta be interesting. Religion is one of my favorite topics to rant about because it's a topic that brings forth insane amounts of opinions. To start, I guess what I am is labeled as either agnostic, which means I don't bother to stress or concern myself with any religion, or you could call me a logician, which means that I believe almost strictly what can be proven through logic. I do however accept that everyone deserves to have their own views and beliefs about god or a general higher power. There are certain aspects of religion that do bother me though. I find a lot of flaws in organized religion including the idea of the pope. Why does a religion need a leader who claims to be able to interpret the bible and the word of god. I personally believe that no one should have the power to tell you what to believe. Faith is the power to believe what you believe regardless of what others tell you. Although I lack the faith that others cherish, I see the advantages of living a life by a moral code such as the bible or any other religious books/ scriptures. Another thing that bothers me though is to hear people thank god for the achievements that they have met by working hard but then blaming themselves for shortcomings or misfortunes. Why not believe that the good things in your life were caused by your positive actions and outlook? I guess the main idea here is that regardless of what you believe in, don't forget to believe in yourself. The biggest worldwide issue with organized religion is lack of tolerance.  No matter what religious beliefs you follow, you have no right to believe that they are better or more believable than someone else's. Personally I think its great for people to have religions if it helps guide them through life righteously but too often we are blinded by these same groups.  Most of all I guess I just recommend that you believe whatever you want or disbelieve whatever you want. As far as the idea of heaven and hell goes, I once read that it was a possibility that because time is relative the last moment of your life may be spent in a type of dream world that seems to last an eternity and this is what heaven and hell were shaped from. Because I'm a strong believer in science, this made a lot of sense to me especially because DMT, the chemical naturally found in your body which causes dreams, is released at the time of death. I don't want anybody to take my sharing of ideas as me telling you what is right or wrong but I thought it would be helpful for you to know my beliefs. Oh and by the way, don't pick and choose the sins by which you judge others. According to the bible, if homosexuality is a sin, so is wearing clothes made from mixed fibers.

Music

      Once again I must apologize for my lack of posts but time is not something that I've had an abundance of.  I am excited though to be writing this post because music is easily my favorite topic to write and talk about.  For as long as I can remember music has been the biggest influence on everything  I've done and continue to do.  It never ceases to surprise me when I ask people what kind of music they listen to and receive "I don't really listen to music." as an answer.  Personally, I don't know what I'd do without music.  It controls my mood, my confidence, my style, and even my personality somewhat.  Throughout my seventeen years I can recall being into country, alternative, hip-hop, indie, and even folk-rock.  Nowadays I find the greatest joy in hip-hop and indie artists.  When I say hip-hop I don't mean that I listen to a bunch of songs that sound the same and rhyme only about women, money, and violence.  It bothers me that the genre seems to have become that.  When I turn on the radio all I hear is the same few songs played over and over with nothing to offer but a catchy beat and an easy-to-remember hook.  I take pride in my ability to find artists who break the mold and shine through their lyricism and subtle messages.  Some of my personal favorite hip-hop artists include G-Eazy, Macklemore, The Kings Dead, Kid Cudi, Childish Gambino and Asher Roth.  On the other side of the spectrum I find myself enjoying vocal and instrumental talent by artists such as Jack White, The Neighbourhood, Death Cab For Cutie, Passion Pit, and Foster The People.  I try not to criticize the music taste of others because I know that everyone has their own opinions and that everyone gets something different out of the music they listen to.  Music is just one of the many forms of art that adds pleasure to the lives of individuals even in the hardest of times.  I recommend that no one be afraid to become passionate about the music they enjoy but instead to embrace it and let it comfort you, excite you, and even give you chills at times.  Music has been around forever and I'm sure it's not going anywhere soon.

     Check out one of my favorite songs as of now and enjoy.

   

Individuality

          Alright so hey, its been a while since my last post and I apologize for that.  I've had a lot going on and it has also been difficult to think of something to write about that would stand up to my last entry.  I have had the concept of individuality rattling around in my head for some time now.  It may seem like a pretty simple idea, yet I don't know how many people really grasp it.  What it comes down to is that, as human beings, we all have things that make us different whether it be our looks, ideas, opinions, passions, fashion sense, etc.  In today's society we are influenced incredibly by propaganda and the opinions of our peers and our media.  There is no doubt in my mind that we have all done things to be accepted by others even though what we do may not be what we want or what we like.  It is pretty much unavoidable at times but we can't let the opinions of other change who we are deep down.  It may sound a little cliche but yes, you have to be yourself.  There is no sense in hiding things that you are ashamed of or even being ashamed of those things at all.  We all have flaws and we all make mistakes.  Don't think for a second that you know someone who is perfect or even close to it.  I noticed with my entry about depression that you guys find it helpful for me to talk about things that most people would consider too personal to share with the world, so here I go again.  I spent this past weekend in Portage-Geauga detention center.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, that would be juvie.  I'm in no way proud to be saying this and it is actually very difficult for me to share with you but what I picked up there is relevant to what I'm saying.  I was forced to wear clothing that was identical to everyone else's and there wasn't much I could do to stand out amongst others.  When you have your individuality stripped from you, you realize how important it really is.  No it isn't all about your clothing or how you dress that lets you express who you are, but that is a part of it.  Blending in with a crowd or a clique may seem like something you want to do, but why?  You have to do what you want to do and stand out amongst the millions of people who inhabit the earth.  Be different.  The same goes for your opinions and ideas.  Just because someone says something and a group of people agree with them doesn't mean that they are right or that they have the only valid input.  Most of the people who are agreeing with that person are probably just to shy to say what they think or too scared that they will be considered weird or different.  Some of the greatest historic and modern icons are those who were willing to do what they wanted without fear of what others would think.  We all have something amazing to give to the world and if you don't input your unique views and personality, you're wasting that ability.  So again I say, be yourself, regardless of what your friends or foes might think.  You may just surprise yourself and start something amazing.

Depression

      So for the past couple days a group called the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance (SPEA) has been at my school to talk to classes about depression, suicide, and how to spot/ prevent these things.  I knew right off the bat that this was gonna be something I would find either inspiring or ignorant.  I appreciate the motives of this group and I hate to say it but ignorance seeped from every crack of the program.  Roughly two years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression by my doctor.  I have never attempted suicide or anything like that but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that has crossed my mind.  The speaker in my class went on and on about how individuals with depression think of suicide as a way to escape their pain and how it's easy to spot those who are depressed.  This is where I call bullshit. (Pardon my language)  When I would think about suicide it wasn't because I was in pain and wanted to escape, it was much simpler than that.  To me, and a few others I've talked to, suicide was just something that seemed easier than continuing on with life, an easy way out.  I don't think I have a negative view of life or anything, I just believe that life is a roller coaster filled with both ups and downs.  It doesn't take a genius to see that some people have a lot more downs in their paths than others whether it be their own fault or not.  Ending life early is a way to basically call it quits and get off the ride.  Obviously, I would never recommend that anybody commit suicide or even handle the idea lightly but I think that for someone to educate others on suicide and depression they should have a first hand knowledge of what it feels like.  Also, I disagree with the strong suggestion the SPEA representative made for the use of anti-depressants.  One of my friends had depression and told me that the medicine made him feel emotionally numb and more likely to have suicidal thoughts.  I personally recommend that if you feel depressed or have thoughts like these you speak to your parents about it and begin some form of counseling.  I have personally been attending counseling for a long time now and nothing has helped me more.  Clinical depression is not something I would wish upon anybody but I will say that I have found a silver lining.  They say that individuals with depression tend to think that they are different from everyone and hey, I'd say they/ we are.  I have personally used my individuality as a motivator to push the limits of what most see as social barriers.  To me, my brain seems to work in ways that I don't think most people's do.  If this is true, the depressed can use their emotional pain to their advantage as I have noticed many famous people do.  Unprecedented amounts of artists express their pain through beautiful art which causes spectators to feel more than they ever believed possible.  In my own words, pain can be a terrible thing, but for those who are strong enough to overcome it and use it productively, whole new worlds can be discovered and expressed.

The Beginning Part 2

        I'd like to begin this post by saying that this blog will not be about me and my ever so typical high school life but I do think that you deserve to know a little background knowledge about me.  Like I said my name is Ryan Parent and I'm currently 17 years old.  I live in Chardon with my mom because my parents divorced many years ago and my dad never tried too hard to be a part of my life.  I have one sibling named Amanda who I would do anything for.  She's 21 and currently a senior at Ohio University.  I've had a pretty blessed life to be completely honest but it has never been very easy for me seeing as I suffer from clinical depression, severe anxiety, and mild ADHD.  To those of you who know me, this may surprise you.  Throughout many years of practice I've learned how to mask my emotions because let's face it, no one wants to hang out with a pity party.  When my dad moved out I was very young and I think that the responsibility I was forced to take on greatly attributed to these conditions of mine.  I would never ask for anyone to feel sorry for me though.  If it weren't for these obstacles in my life I know that I would be nowhere near the person I am today.  I like to think that pain is an emotion that can mold some of the strongest people and cause them to do great things in life.  Enough about that though, this is about me introducing myself.  I'm a very passionate person whether it be with writing, interaction, or especially music.  For as long as I can remember music has been the one muse that both inspires and motivates me.  I would love to find my way into the music industry one day simply to say I was there with the people who mean so much to kids everywhere that are like me.  I have a lot of big dreams like this but hey, what is the journey of life without a grand destination?  To end this post I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes with hopes to make you think.  "In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society." -Unknown