Depression

      So for the past couple days a group called the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance (SPEA) has been at my school to talk to classes about depression, suicide, and how to spot/ prevent these things.  I knew right off the bat that this was gonna be something I would find either inspiring or ignorant.  I appreciate the motives of this group and I hate to say it but ignorance seeped from every crack of the program.  Roughly two years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression by my doctor.  I have never attempted suicide or anything like that but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that has crossed my mind.  The speaker in my class went on and on about how individuals with depression think of suicide as a way to escape their pain and how it's easy to spot those who are depressed.  This is where I call bullshit. (Pardon my language)  When I would think about suicide it wasn't because I was in pain and wanted to escape, it was much simpler than that.  To me, and a few others I've talked to, suicide was just something that seemed easier than continuing on with life, an easy way out.  I don't think I have a negative view of life or anything, I just believe that life is a roller coaster filled with both ups and downs.  It doesn't take a genius to see that some people have a lot more downs in their paths than others whether it be their own fault or not.  Ending life early is a way to basically call it quits and get off the ride.  Obviously, I would never recommend that anybody commit suicide or even handle the idea lightly but I think that for someone to educate others on suicide and depression they should have a first hand knowledge of what it feels like.  Also, I disagree with the strong suggestion the SPEA representative made for the use of anti-depressants.  One of my friends had depression and told me that the medicine made him feel emotionally numb and more likely to have suicidal thoughts.  I personally recommend that if you feel depressed or have thoughts like these you speak to your parents about it and begin some form of counseling.  I have personally been attending counseling for a long time now and nothing has helped me more.  Clinical depression is not something I would wish upon anybody but I will say that I have found a silver lining.  They say that individuals with depression tend to think that they are different from everyone and hey, I'd say they/ we are.  I have personally used my individuality as a motivator to push the limits of what most see as social barriers.  To me, my brain seems to work in ways that I don't think most people's do.  If this is true, the depressed can use their emotional pain to their advantage as I have noticed many famous people do.  Unprecedented amounts of artists express their pain through beautiful art which causes spectators to feel more than they ever believed possible.  In my own words, pain can be a terrible thing, but for those who are strong enough to overcome it and use it productively, whole new worlds can be discovered and expressed.