Individuality

          Alright so hey, its been a while since my last post and I apologize for that.  I've had a lot going on and it has also been difficult to think of something to write about that would stand up to my last entry.  I have had the concept of individuality rattling around in my head for some time now.  It may seem like a pretty simple idea, yet I don't know how many people really grasp it.  What it comes down to is that, as human beings, we all have things that make us different whether it be our looks, ideas, opinions, passions, fashion sense, etc.  In today's society we are influenced incredibly by propaganda and the opinions of our peers and our media.  There is no doubt in my mind that we have all done things to be accepted by others even though what we do may not be what we want or what we like.  It is pretty much unavoidable at times but we can't let the opinions of other change who we are deep down.  It may sound a little cliche but yes, you have to be yourself.  There is no sense in hiding things that you are ashamed of or even being ashamed of those things at all.  We all have flaws and we all make mistakes.  Don't think for a second that you know someone who is perfect or even close to it.  I noticed with my entry about depression that you guys find it helpful for me to talk about things that most people would consider too personal to share with the world, so here I go again.  I spent this past weekend in Portage-Geauga detention center.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, that would be juvie.  I'm in no way proud to be saying this and it is actually very difficult for me to share with you but what I picked up there is relevant to what I'm saying.  I was forced to wear clothing that was identical to everyone else's and there wasn't much I could do to stand out amongst others.  When you have your individuality stripped from you, you realize how important it really is.  No it isn't all about your clothing or how you dress that lets you express who you are, but that is a part of it.  Blending in with a crowd or a clique may seem like something you want to do, but why?  You have to do what you want to do and stand out amongst the millions of people who inhabit the earth.  Be different.  The same goes for your opinions and ideas.  Just because someone says something and a group of people agree with them doesn't mean that they are right or that they have the only valid input.  Most of the people who are agreeing with that person are probably just to shy to say what they think or too scared that they will be considered weird or different.  Some of the greatest historic and modern icons are those who were willing to do what they wanted without fear of what others would think.  We all have something amazing to give to the world and if you don't input your unique views and personality, you're wasting that ability.  So again I say, be yourself, regardless of what your friends or foes might think.  You may just surprise yourself and start something amazing.

Depression

      So for the past couple days a group called the Suicide Prevention Education Alliance (SPEA) has been at my school to talk to classes about depression, suicide, and how to spot/ prevent these things.  I knew right off the bat that this was gonna be something I would find either inspiring or ignorant.  I appreciate the motives of this group and I hate to say it but ignorance seeped from every crack of the program.  Roughly two years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression by my doctor.  I have never attempted suicide or anything like that but I'd be lying if I said it wasn't something that has crossed my mind.  The speaker in my class went on and on about how individuals with depression think of suicide as a way to escape their pain and how it's easy to spot those who are depressed.  This is where I call bullshit. (Pardon my language)  When I would think about suicide it wasn't because I was in pain and wanted to escape, it was much simpler than that.  To me, and a few others I've talked to, suicide was just something that seemed easier than continuing on with life, an easy way out.  I don't think I have a negative view of life or anything, I just believe that life is a roller coaster filled with both ups and downs.  It doesn't take a genius to see that some people have a lot more downs in their paths than others whether it be their own fault or not.  Ending life early is a way to basically call it quits and get off the ride.  Obviously, I would never recommend that anybody commit suicide or even handle the idea lightly but I think that for someone to educate others on suicide and depression they should have a first hand knowledge of what it feels like.  Also, I disagree with the strong suggestion the SPEA representative made for the use of anti-depressants.  One of my friends had depression and told me that the medicine made him feel emotionally numb and more likely to have suicidal thoughts.  I personally recommend that if you feel depressed or have thoughts like these you speak to your parents about it and begin some form of counseling.  I have personally been attending counseling for a long time now and nothing has helped me more.  Clinical depression is not something I would wish upon anybody but I will say that I have found a silver lining.  They say that individuals with depression tend to think that they are different from everyone and hey, I'd say they/ we are.  I have personally used my individuality as a motivator to push the limits of what most see as social barriers.  To me, my brain seems to work in ways that I don't think most people's do.  If this is true, the depressed can use their emotional pain to their advantage as I have noticed many famous people do.  Unprecedented amounts of artists express their pain through beautiful art which causes spectators to feel more than they ever believed possible.  In my own words, pain can be a terrible thing, but for those who are strong enough to overcome it and use it productively, whole new worlds can be discovered and expressed.

The Beginning Part 2

        I'd like to begin this post by saying that this blog will not be about me and my ever so typical high school life but I do think that you deserve to know a little background knowledge about me.  Like I said my name is Ryan Parent and I'm currently 17 years old.  I live in Chardon with my mom because my parents divorced many years ago and my dad never tried too hard to be a part of my life.  I have one sibling named Amanda who I would do anything for.  She's 21 and currently a senior at Ohio University.  I've had a pretty blessed life to be completely honest but it has never been very easy for me seeing as I suffer from clinical depression, severe anxiety, and mild ADHD.  To those of you who know me, this may surprise you.  Throughout many years of practice I've learned how to mask my emotions because let's face it, no one wants to hang out with a pity party.  When my dad moved out I was very young and I think that the responsibility I was forced to take on greatly attributed to these conditions of mine.  I would never ask for anyone to feel sorry for me though.  If it weren't for these obstacles in my life I know that I would be nowhere near the person I am today.  I like to think that pain is an emotion that can mold some of the strongest people and cause them to do great things in life.  Enough about that though, this is about me introducing myself.  I'm a very passionate person whether it be with writing, interaction, or especially music.  For as long as I can remember music has been the one muse that both inspires and motivates me.  I would love to find my way into the music industry one day simply to say I was there with the people who mean so much to kids everywhere that are like me.  I have a lot of big dreams like this but hey, what is the journey of life without a grand destination?  To end this post I'd like to leave you with one of my favorite quotes with hopes to make you think.  "In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society." -Unknown

The Beginning

    I call this the beginning but that's far from what this is.  I have a dream of becoming a writer and I guess you could call this just another step in the process.  My name is Ryan Parent but to most of you that is unimportant.  I'm a kid with the ambition of a man and the vision of a god.  I currently attend Chardon High School of Ohio with aspirations of attending Ohio University to study Journalism and education.  I'm extremely opinionated and I wanted to start this blog to share my thoughts with anyone willing to read them.  I truly believe that I am different from anyone I have ever met and I want you all to see why that is.  I will offend most of you at some point and hopefully enlighten all of you.  I don't need you to like me, I just need you to listen.  Stay tuned.